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February 21, 2022February 21, 2022

Finding Happiness: Living Your Values

How happy are you?

Hard question, I know. And I’m asking about your life in general, not this specific moment.

How content are you with your life as it is today?

It is unlikely that you’re totally, 100% happy with everything in your life. I would even argue that the thought that you’re all happy is impossible, because lack of opportunity for any growth or changes in your life means you’re at a dead stop. A standstill. We’re humans…we live to grow.

Photo by **Designecologist** from **Pexels**

However, is there a way to MAXIMIZE your happiness level? What can you do right now to increase your happiness?

One way to start is to LIVE YOUR VALUES.

Let’s start with what I actually mean by VALUES. These are traits, principles or qualities that are important to your identity and how you see yourself (or, how you WANT to see yourself).

When our values are misaligned with the way we live our lives, then we’re not growing into our happiness potential. For example, if one of my values is being environmentally friendly, and I’m still buying individually plastic-packaged snacks for my household, or working for a company that heavily pollutes our air or water…I’m not really living my values. These traits are at odds with my identity as a person who is environmentally conscious, and as such, I’m not going to be happy with that area of my life. Make sense?

I’m not suggesting that you run out and quit your job or do something equally as drastic. Remember our first blog post – Taking the First Steps? Depending on what your values are, this may be one of those things you want to take baby steps on, and not go full leap.

So, first steps…what do we do?

IDENTIFY

Grab a journal, notes app on your phone, scratch paper (just don’t lose it!), or whatever you like and start writing them down. Some leading questions to help you get started:

- How do you see yourself, or want to see yourself?
- What kind of person are you?
- What traits are important to you?

Photo by Jessica Lewis Creative from Pexels

You may have A LOT to write down. I did! Use your notes to drill down to individual values. Here are some examples from my own exercise:

I value…

- Health
- Courage
- Friendship

Once you have your list, it’s time to…

ORGANIZE & RATE

In this step we are going to do two things in the order below:

1. Organize your list of values from most important to least important. (you can also think of this exercise as organizing by which values you feel contribute more to the identity you have or want)
2. Take your top FIVE values and rate where you currently think you are on a scale of 1-10. Be honest here. I also make notes about WHY I chose a particular number to refer back to later when I wonder why I picked that at the time.

Here are some free, downloadable worksheets to help you! Find them in the LINKS section at the end of this post.

Next, we will…

STRATEGIZE

For this step, I want you to create a matrix like the one below, but replace the items in the far left row with your top 5 values.

	Tier I – Right Now	Tier II – Near Future	Tier III – Future.
[Value #1]
[Value #2]
[Value #3]
[Value #4]
[Value #5]

In the columns to the right, you’re going to brainstorm actionable tasks that will help you to start LIVING these values. And as you do that, you’re going to categorize them as follows:

- Tier I – something you can do or start right now, no waiting required. There is little to no investment monetarily, or situational issues that hold you back from starting.
- Tier II – something you can start in the near future. You can define what near future means to you, but I’d say I generally think this you can do or start this task means within the year. You may have to wait to get through a big life change like a move or a new baby or marriage, or you may have to save up some money to be able to kick it off.
- Tier III – this is something requiring more long-term focus and investment of time or money. Maybe it’s going back to school, or starting a business. You may also have to wait for the same life changes to be settled like in Tier II.

When you’re brainstorming, these need to be actual TASKS to complete. For example, if I have a value that is related to my health, my Tier I/II/III items might look something like this:

	Tier I – Right Now	Tier II – Near Future	Tier III – Future
Health	– Make a doctor appt – Remove unhealthy snacks from the house – Buy new running shoes	– Hire a personal trainer – Switch to plant-based eating 2x/week – Buy a treadmill	– Implement 100% plant- based diet – Build a home gym room

Make them real tasks that you can check off later as complete. If you make them general or obscure, they’re hard to check off. If you put “eat healthy” in there…can you ever call yourself 100% on that? Even plant-based eaters eat sweets sometimes! I like yes/no tasks or tasks to which you can apply a % complete.

The worksheets under the Organize & Rate section have a page to help you complete the “Strategize” step as well! Find them again in the LINKS section below.

IMPLEMENT

Now is the time for those Tier I items. If you must, set aside time to do them on your calendar today or tomorrow. Then go back to your list and check them off!

Let this list be dynamic, too. If you check off “making a doctor appt”, then add a new item like “talk to doctor about high cholesterol” or something tangible that continues you on your journey. Let the list run on and on.

This is all about you and what works for you. If five things are too many to deal with at once and you end up with too many tasks, just start on the tasks for the first value and work your way through.

RE-EVALUATE – THREE TO SIX MONTHS LATER

First, go back to Step 2 and rate yourself again on these five values. Have you improved? Stayed steady? Backtracked? Re-evaluating can help you refocus your efforts.

Second, review your Tier I-III tasks for what you’ve done, what still needs to be done, and if you can move anything around. You can also decide whether it’s time to add any Tier I tasks that may have to do with your Tier II items. For the example above, I might add a task like, “buy a plant-based cookbook” or, “research treadmills”. Same with things from Tier III to Tier II – like if one of your kids is moving out in the next year and you’ll have a free room, time to put “research equipment for home gym” on the Tier II list for the example above.

You can also add, drop or replace things from the list. If you’ve gone off running and found that biking is more your thing (BTW, check out our post on the different types of bike riding!) then maybe you want to buy a bike instead of a treadmill. The list changes with you – just don’t put it in a dark corner and forget about it!

Living Your Values is only ONE of the many ways to increase your happiness level. Your values are so closely tied to your identity that they can help guide how we live in many ways.

I’d love to hear about how you plan to Live Your Values. If you feel comfortable, you can share below or comment on social media, or send us a DM on Insta @welcometowellstreet (DMs remain private). Or feel free to reach out with questions in our email box. Our door is always open.

“It’s our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”
JK Rowling

LINKS

Living Your Values Organize & Rate-2 Download

February 15, 2022February 15, 2022

How to Ride a Bike…as an Adult

If you had a childhood like mine, you grew up with a big-box-store bike that you rode around your block or to your Grandma’s house, or like for us country folk, up and down your long driveway. Once I grew into my teen years, I became busy with school, work and other after school activities, leaving my bike to sit-sit-sit in the garage. I didn’t know anyone who biked for fitness or recreation as an adult, so I really had no outside influence to help me along.

If you’re in this boat now as an adult and think you may want to start riding again…we’re starting at the beginning today with the very basics. This post is primarily focused on biking for SPORT or FITNESS, even though there are plenty of ways to enjoy a bicycle ride recreationally. This is also the first in a series of posts, and in the subsequent posts we will take a deeper dive into some different types of biking.

Different types of biking, you say?

Yep, I say.

For the purposes of our series here, there are six types of biking ranging from three of the most popular, and then some more obscure/specialized types:

1. Road Cycling
2. Gravel Riding
3. Mountain Biking
4. BMX
5. Track Cycling
6. Cyclocross

For the blog posts to follow, we are going to take a deeper dive into those top three, but below is a brief overview of all.

1. Road Cycling

Most are familiar with this one because: Tour de France. And in most places you can usually see some kitted out cyclists riding roadside, like these guys:

In general, road bicycles are characterized by being lightweight with thin frames, drop bar handlebars, and thin, bald tires. Gears on the bike allow for adjusting pedal resistance. They are designed to go ultra fast on asphalt or cement surfaces – their sleekness offers little air resistance, same with the drop handlebars that allow you to lean forward, and the bald tires offer as little friction as possible. If you’re into speed, this should be on your list to try.

2. Gravel Riding

Gravel riding is a relatively young sport in the cycling world. I think of this one as a cross between road biking and mountain biking, and it also has similarities to cyclocross. At first, a gravel bike looks similar to a road bike – thinner frame, multiple gears, thin tires and drop bars. However, a closer look reveals:

- More rugged frames (and usually heavier because of that)
- Tires ARE wider than road tires, even though that may not be immediately apparent
- Tires have tread on them (aka not bald)

Photo by **Mark Hansen** from **Pexels**

These bikes can take the beating of a rocky gravel road, but perhaps not the big rocks and rooty terrain of a mountain bike trail. This type of biking combines speed, endurance and grit. In the US, our gravel roads are in rural areas that can also provide some excellent scenery to enjoy on your ride.

3. Mountain Biking (MTBing)

Exactly what you think here – riding on trails up mountains, in the woods, through streams, etc. MTB trails range from an easy-rolling, cross country ride with minimal obstacles to mountain trails with lots of climbs and technical elements, like jumps or rock gardens. MTB trails can be all natural or include man-made obstacles. Trails are generally graded so you know the difficulty before you go, and what type of MTB you’ll need.

MTBs have multiple gears like our first two, and have wide, heavily treaded tires for extra grip while riding over rough terrain. MTBs are usually characterized by having some type of suspension, but there are three main MTB suspension options:

- Hardtails (front suspension only)
- Full Suspension (front and rear suspension)
- Fully Rigid (no suspension, for those with masochistic tendencies)

Photo by **Irene Lasus** from **Pexels**

There is something for everyone here, but thrill seekers will find their home on the MTB trails for sure.

4. BMX

Ever seen a grown person ride around on bike that looks like it was made for a kid? It was probably a BMX bike. They’re small, but they are BEASTS that are built to take a beating. Since most BMX riding is all about the skills, it usually happens at a skate park or pump track. Inevitably, falls happen, and you need a bike that can take it. Learning to control your falls is key, and will make this a fun option if you want to learn some skills and tricks.

5. Track Cycling

This one is all about speed and competition. As the name suggests, it takes place on an oval track with steep banked turns, and it can be either indoor or outdoor. The bikes used for track cycling have special frames and wheels designed to be aerodynamic, and they are single-speed fixed gear bikes. They do not coast – to move you have to pedal – and similarly, there are no brakes – you have to slow your pedaling to stop. You have to be able to get on a local track for this one, so make sure one is available before you invest! Most tracks have a 101 class you can take as well, and some have loaner bikes to give it a try.

6. Cyclocross

Cyclocross is another type of biking that is centered around racing. The bicycles are used are very similar to gravel bikes, except that the bikes are typically designed for more speed and efficiency while gravel bikes are designed for comfort on long haul rides. Cyclocross races consist of roped courses that travel over multiple types of terrain like grass and trails, and some obstacles that could be natural or manmade (like stairs that you have to carry your bike up, for example). Being able to get on and off your bike quickly is key. You’ll typically do multiple laps over the same course.

Believe it or not, I did try to reign in my usual tendency to dive into the weeds on explanations such as these. If you’re still with me…awesome. Feel free to send me an email or a message on social if you have questions before our next deeper dives into Road Cycling, Gravel Riding and MTBing.

Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re probably right.
Henry Ford

February 10, 2022February 15, 2022

Taking the First Steps

Do you ever feel like you hold yourself back?

I sure do.

Sometimes stepping away and giving things time to simmer is a good thing. I do this when I have something I’m going to drop a lot of cash on and I just want to be 100% sure. When I bought my road bike, the one I wanted was only available online so I couldn’t test it out first. That thing sat in my cart for over SIX MONTHS and I opened the site and looked at it EVERY DAY. But, when I finally hit that “Checkout” button, I was sure it was worth the money (and I was right!).

Sometimes though, it’s not prudence holding us back. It’s straight up FEAR.

One of my biggest fears ever is of failing. That fear holds me back from starting, persisting and completing so many things. It does not help that my definition of failure = not meeting my goals and expectations, regardless of the reason. Very black and white, and zero grace for things that are out of my control.

I only recognized that this was my problem after listening to a podcast in which Dr. Jim Taylor was being interviewed about a series of articles he wrote about Fear of Failure. I’m listening and suddenly…it hits me…he’s talking about ME. The actual articles are written in reference to children, but the idea is the same. I’ll link them below – you should really check them out from the source.

Symptoms of this fear for me were:

- Procrastinating (being hesitant to try or start something)
- Self-sabotage (underpreparing or acting against my plan)
- Impostor syndrome (self doubt, fear of others thinking I didn’t belong)
- Anxiety/Nervousness
- Perfectionism

Sound familiar? Welcome to the club.

I’m not going to pretend like I know the answer – I’m still working on this one for myself. I had been dealing with this for such a long time, that I finally got tired of not being able to accomplish what I wanted to do. I decided to take action – so here are a few things I implemented that are helping me, and maybe they can help you too.

- Talk to someone about it. Try talking to a close friend, or a group of people that you trust. This is where having a community you can reach out to can perhaps help. For me…I found I needed to see a therapist. Start small with a trusted friend, and then escalate if it doesn’t seem to be getting you anywhere.

- Try some exposure therapy. Now this, my friends, is some tough love. In the words of Dr. Susan Jeffers: “Feel the fear…and Do it Anyway”. Just go and do it, and you may realize it’s not as bad as you thought. We so often build things up in our heads that aren’t even close to reality.
- Start with small steps instead of a giant leap. Just jumping it and doing it not happening? Dip your toe in, start with something small. Know yourself, and understand what could make this effort easier for you. Read Dr. Jeffers’ book for some ideas, or even try a habit-building strategy like those in James Clear’s book, “Atomic Habits”.

All I really ask is that you don’t let yourself get held back by this fear. Work on it. Come up with some strategies that might work for you (and actually try them!). But don’t let it run your life. If you’ve watched the recent made-over movie, DUNE, or read the book, you’ll recall that “FEAR IS THE MIND-KILLER”. It is indeed the mind-killer, and it’s a BIG dream-killer too.

Don’t let fear kill your dreams. Let’s take these first steps together and move forward.

“You’ve made this a special day, just by being you. There’s no person in the world like you, and I like you just the way you are.”
Mister (Fred) Rogers

LINKS

Dr. Jim Taylor’s series on Fear of Failure (Click “Next” to read the follow ups!)

Fear of Failure – Part I

Dr. Susan Jeffers’ book, “Feel the Fear…and Do It Anyway”

James Clear’s book, “Atomic Habits”